well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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