what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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