**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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