Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
