Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
