When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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