she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
