i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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