It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
40s are totally the cure
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
