Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
