theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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