I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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