I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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