The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I bet he comes in French.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
