You smell like a Billy Joel song
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
