it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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