we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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