i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
