Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
