You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
