True but thats because hes a fetus.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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