We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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