you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
