You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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