no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize