and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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