He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
