I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize