the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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