I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He kissed a someone with a penis
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Randomize
