I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize