is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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