He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
