i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
