i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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