sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
