We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
