i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
