Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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