My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
