Me too!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
