I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
