I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
