I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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