we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
