so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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