Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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