the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
