Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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