Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
