Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize