My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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