When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
