i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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