You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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