forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
