It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
