I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize