Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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