Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize