ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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