STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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