This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
