party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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