Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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