just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
