I puked a lego.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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